Ice Cream

Last week I took my children to a restaurant. My

six-year-old son asked if he could say grace. As we bowed

our heads he said, "God is good. God is great. Thank you

for the food, and I would even thank you more if Mom gets us

ice cream for dessert. And Liberty and justice for all!

Amen!"

Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby I

heard a woman remark, "That's what's wrong with this

country. Kids today don't even know how to pray. Asking God

for ice-cream! Why, I never!".

Hearing this, my son burst into tears and asked me, "Did I

do it wrong? Is God mad at me?"

As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific

job and God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly

gentleman approached the table. He winked at my son and said,

"I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer."

"Really?" my son asked.

"Cross my heart." Then in a theatrical whisper he added

(indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing),

"Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice

cream is good for the soul sometimes."

Naturally, I bought my kids ice cream at the end of the

meal. My son stared at his for a moment and then did something

I will remember the rest of my life. He picked up his sundae

and without a word walked over and placed it in front of the

woman. With a big smile he told her, "Here, this is for you.

Ice cream is good for the soul sometimes, and my soul is

good already."

STEVE MAYNARD

Mary had a little Lamb

Mary had a little Lamb,

His fleece was white as snow.

And everywhere that Mary went,

The Lamb was sure to go.

He followed her to school each day,

When it wasn't against the rules.

He made the children laugh and play,

To have a Lamb at school.

Then the rules changed one day,

Against the law it became.

To bring the Lamb of God to school,

Or even speak His Name.

Every day got worse and worse,

And days turned into years.

Instead of hearing children laugh and play,

You heard them crying tears.

What must we do to stop the crime,

That's in our schools today?

Let the Lamb come back to school,

A father was approached by his small son who said, "I know the Bible!" The father replied, "What do you mean you know the Bible?" The son replied,"I know what the Bible stands for!" The father said, "So, what does the Bible stand for?" The son replied, "It stands for Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.

SOMEDAY, when the kids are grown, life will be different, Memo pad on my refrigerator door will read, "Afternoon at hairdresser, or,"Browse through art gallery", or "Start golf lessons", instead of, "Pediatrician at 2:00", or "Cub Pack Meeting."

SOMEDAY, when the kids are grown, the house will be free of graffiti. There will be no crayoned smiley faces on the walls, no names scrawled in furniture dust, no pictures fingered on steamy windows, and no initials etched in bars of soap.

SOMEDAY, when the kids are grown, I'll get through a whole chapter of an engrossing book without being interrupted to sew a nose on a teddy bear, stop a toddler from eating the dog food, or rescue the cat from the toy box.

SOMEDAY, when the kids are grown, I won't find brown apple cores under the beds, empty spindles on the toilet paper hanger, or fuzzy caterpillars in denim jeans. And I will be able to find a pencil in the desk drawer, a slice of leftover pie in the refrigerator, and the comics still in the center of the newspaper.

SOMEDAY, when the kids are grown, I'll breeze right past the gumball machine in the supermarket without having to fumble for pennies; I'll stroll freely down each aisle without fear of inadvertently passing the candy or toy sections; and I'll choose cereal without considering what noise it makes, what prize it contains, or what color it comes in.

SOMEDAY, when the kids are grown, I'll prepare Quiche Lorraine, or Scallops Almondine, or just plain liver and onions, and no one will say, "Yuk!" I wish we were having hot dogs!" or, "Jimmy's lucky, his mom lets him eat chocolate bars for dinner." and we'll eat by candle light, with no one trying to roast their peas and carrots over the flame to "make them taste better", or arguing about who gets to blow out the candle when we're done.

SOMEDAY, when the kids are grown, I'll get ready for my bath without first having to remove a fleet of boars, two rubber alligators, and a soggy tennis ball from the tub. I'll luxuriate in hot, steamy water and billows of bubbles for a whole hour and no fists will pound on the door, no small voices will yell, "Hurry up Mommy! I gotta go!"

YES! SOMEDAY, when the kids are grown, life will be different.

They'll leave our nest, and the house will be

Quiet.....

And Calm.....

And empty.....

And Lonely.....

And I won't like that at all!

And then I'll spend my time, not looking forward to SOMEDAY, but looking back at YESTERDAY!

Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to God's kids. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was: "Don't."

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We got forbidden fruit? Hey, Eve...we got Forbidden Fruit!"

" No way!"

" Yes WAY!"

"Don't eat that fruit!" said God.

"Why?"

"Because I'm your Father and I said so!" said God, wondering why he hadn't stopped after making the elephants. A few minutes later God saw the kids having an apple break and was angry.

"Didn't I tell you not to eat that fruit?" the First Parent asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?"

"I dunno," Eve answered.

"She started it!" Adam said.

"Did Not!"

"DID so!"

"DID NOT!!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed. But there is a reassurance in this story.

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give them wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble handling children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?